Living in a Snow Globe. . .Searching for Fresh Organic Produce

Hi Friends!

So here we are on our military post in Stuttgart, Germany, as Mr. and Mrs.! Our wedding, on January 28th, was wonderfully beautiful and was so much more than I ever dreamed it would be. My mother and some close friends worked from sun up to sun down to make everything look beyond perfect! Just a little over two weeks ago I married my best friend and started my adventure by taking on the role to be his loving and supporting wife as we serve not only each other hand in hand, but also our country. Today has been my first day of military briefings as a military wife. I have to say that I now feel quite officially accepted into the military as my husband's significant other!

We have been here 5 days and there are a few challenges that we have already faced. Finding quality, healthy "living food" on post has been the most difficult task so far. Since all of our belongings and our car are still being shipped over, we are reliant on whatever is available to us here on post near our hotel. There is a food court that consists of Popeyes, Pizza Hut, and the like; and there is a Commissary (a mini military grocery store) that has a selection of fresh produce and organic foods that can be carried out of the store in one hand. Needless to say, our options for healthy eating are severely limited. I have had to pick the lesser of the two evils- scrubbing non organic produce until it is nearly drunk on bubbles, and selecting eggs and meats that are at least not super full of hormones and chemicals.

I have definitely noticed my body having a super hard time adjusting to the limited selection, mostly because it's used to a much cleaner diet that was readily available at the nearest Whole Foods or small organic grocery store. I'm sure all the stress from the wedding planning, getting things ready to move here (military PCS move), and emotional goodbyes to our families after the wedding, is finally catching up to me as well. I have had to take my Clonazepam almost every other day since we have been here (which I hate doing), but I have definitely learned over the past year that it is far better to take the small doses I have instead of suffering through scary "attacks". . . which my Doctor in the States still doesn't know what to label under. I can feel that my adrenals are super maxed out and like I said, I know its from a combination of things. The items that seemed to help me feel "normal" back home (organic whey protein, organic grass fed beef, liquid iron supplement, a truckload of organic teas, some of my probiotics, etc.) were not easily packed into my luggage for various obvious reasons. So until I can order a magic wand and "kalamazoo" some of my key necessities over here, I will have to make do with the little amounts of organic foods that I have managed to find on the Commissary shelves over here; and keep my fingers crossed that my body plays nice.

Last weekend Daniel and I ventured off post and walked 45 minutes, in 20 degree weather, to see what we could find in the nearest town. I had at least three layers of clothes on every body part, so I wasn't completely  freezing. . . except for my nose! We ended up finding a charming little "produce stand" once we reached town. Since this was our first adventure on German soil we knew that our encounters with the locals would involve pretty limited conversations. As Daniel and I selected some fresh eggs, tomatoes, onion, carrots, and various other things (that we may or may not have known the names off-haha), the owner of the charming tiny "grocery store" made the first move- a string of German words that flowed out of his mouth like alphabet soup to my ears. I'm sure though that the looks on our faces somehow said even more than the German had spoken! In the moments that followed we all somehow communicated, with made up sign language and sounds much like a child learning to speak, that we definitely do not speak the same language; and that it was indeed okay for him to chop off the green carrot tops that we were trying to purchase. I had really wanted to keep the vitamin rich green tops, but at that point I figured it would be harder conveying that I wanted to keep them for their nutrition value! It was quite the experience!

So, moral of the story is that there are little fresh veggies out there in Germany, just waiting to be placed into my little backpack and taken home; however, we may have to spend a little more time learning to speak German if we would like to know everything that we are purchasing, and whether or not I would like to take my green carrot tops home for juicing :o).

For now, I will keep practicing my German (especially phrases pertaining to grocery shopping) and continue to let the local German food work it's magic- even if it's only medicine for the soul! 

Tschuss!/So Long (pronounced chewss), Meg

A Season to Laugh and A Season to Cry . . . and then a season to happy cry.

Well friends, it has been about a whole season since I have written and I thought it was definitely time to start typing and sharing again. Since my last entry I have had quite a few things happen in my life. Back in September I had a super scary health "episode" sneek up on me and almost convince me to call the trusty ambulance. As many of you know, I have been battling what doctors are labeling as "panic attacks" for about 2 years now. As I shared in previous posts I had found some natural supplements, as well as nutrition advice, that had helped me stop the panic attacks all together. I had a blissful handful of months where I finally felt like a little bird that had been set free and was no longer caged in fear of another "panic session" wreaking havock on my body. As the months went by I continued to maintain my supplement and nutrition plan. However, about 4 months ago, on a random morning, my body completely started shutting down and acting like it was just simply giving up the fight. After hours of being curled up in a ball and unable to stand, due to low blood pressure type symptoms and many other issues, everything finally passed. My mom came to my rescue, as moms always do, after her two hour drive to get to me; and by the time she arrived I was feeling like my body was trying to return to normal slowly but surely. Ofcourse this whole time I was mentally battling massive amounts of fear, which only made some symptoms worse. . . as fear always does!

I was blessed to have my youngest sis stay with me for a few days, to keep an eye on me and play nurse :0). I seemed to feel tolerable the next few days and weeks but then it happened again. After 4 months, more holistic Dr visits, tests, and even more money, no one still has a clue what's going on and exactly what to do. The biggest conclusion is that I am anemic/ blood deficient. So, I have been eating red meat like its the end of the world and seeing a acupuncturist every week the past 2 months. I have to say that my fear of these attacks definitely trumped my long lived fear of needles. Haha.

All in all I do believe everything I have been doing has been helping in its own little way. I still have little waves of "oh no, is it happening again?" but so far it's been a lot tamer and nothing close to the intensity of the first experience.

I didn't write and share about all of this for a while because I have been concerned that I would sound like "Debbie Downer", but I do want to continue to be open and honest about my journey and what I find out along the way :0).

The Fall season this year was extremely challenging for me and definitely caused many tears to leak and fears to rise, but it's a new season now and even though its cold and seams dead outside it is a season of hope, laughter, and love.

In my last post I shared a little about the amazing man thats in my life now and what a blessing his friendship, patients, and love has been the past 3 years. On December 10th he asked me, under a full moonlit sky, to be his girl forever. . . a new season bloomed in my heart and in the world around me that very moment.

We are only just 3 weeks engaged and currently in the middle of joyious wedding planning mayhem, haha; because the military is sending us to a post in Germany the second week of February. So, we have a total of 4 weeks left before our big day, and then we are on our way to a honeymoon in Paris and two years of newlywed adventure in Germany.

The seasons of your life change so fast, and you never know what is just around the corner on the path ahead of you. All I know is that each season is new and makes up the story of my life. Even though I haven't understood a lot of the "seasons" in my life that have past, I can see more clearly now why they were so important and how they played a part in causing Daniel's and my friendship to blossom into everlasting love...even in the middle of a moonlit winter night.

Meg

Warm Embraces

You never know what unexpected gifts lay ahead of you on your journey through life. This September 10th, on the second anniversary of when Tyler was killed in Afghanistan, I received a gift of compassion in the form of a warm embrace from the First Lady Michelle Obama.

 When my family, Tyler's and my friend Erik, and I all showed up at Arlington National Cemetery we had no idea what a special surprise awaited us. We had all been spending some time reminiscing and placing special items around Tyler's stone when we were approached by the secret service. They informed us that the Obamas had planned a surprise visit to section 60, to pay their respect to our soldiers that have paid the ultimate sacrifice since 9/11; and to any families that might happen to be there at the moment. They informed us that the President and First Lady were arriving at section 60 in just a few minutes and that they would like to visit with us if this would be alright; and if it would not be an infringement on our personal time. They said we had just a few minutes if we decided we would like to leave the cemetery before they arrived; but we of course said we would be honored and all the while were a little stunned that a series of random events that morning had apparently all lined up to bring us to such a special moment. Erik and I both had mixed emotions at first about if we should stay or not because we didn't want attention from the media, and we both know that Tyler never liked drawing attention to the fact that he was in the military. However, we both also knew that because of his service and ultimate sacrifice he deserved the president's attention to his name, his service, and his sacrifice, so we made the quick decision to stay.

In a matter of minutes the White House motorcade was pulling up to the curb near us and the President and First Lady were walking towards us. As I introduced myself, each moment seamed to become more surreal and before I could even soak up what was unfolding, I found myself in the compassionate embrace of both the President and his wife. They spent quite some time visiting with us...asking about Tyler, learning about who we are, and then offered sincere words of sympathy and encouragement to me that I will treasure my whole life. 

I'm still not sure whether the events of this September 10th were more for Tyler or from Tyler :o). It felt as though he sent a little wink to say that everything is going to be alright and to keep being strong as I continue to move forward into the life and blessings that lay ahead of me. I still miss Tyler very much, and tears continue to flow from time to time; but I am blessed beyond measure and have many exciting chapters ahead of me that I know he is happy to see unfolding. Losing Tyler in my life has been the most excruciating experience I have ever been through, but two years later I can now say that despite the continued pain, there is new joy and happiness in my life and that I know I am exactly where he wanted to me to be if he didn't come back home to me...

"Meggie, If I don't come back I want you to find a man that adores you as much as I do and encourages you to be everything that I know you can be...find a man that helps you pursue all your dreams and talents...and  I want you to find someone that can take care of you and make you happy..."

Two and a half years later after he laid his hard working calloused hands on my shoulders and spoke those words, as much with his determined piercing blue eyes as he did with his voice, I know that I have found someone who does just exactly what he wished for me. And with some encouraging words from the First Lady I will continue to be the kind of strong women that Tyler fell in love with, so that I can live in the present and be everything that I need to be for the one who now holds my heart in the pocket of his own uniform every time he leaves.

When you are the girlfriend, fiance, wife, mother, or any other relation to a loved one lost in the service of the military, you receive a tab on your heart's 'uniform' that will remain there the rest of your life. This deep scar on my heart has become a part of me and is sometimes easy for many to see; it is my story, it carries my fears and doubts, it is painful at times and numb in other moments. Most importantly though is that I remember to choose to look at this scar as our solders look at their Ranger Tab upon graduation from the course. When you wear the deep emotional tab of loss on your heart you and those around you know that you have survived something that only a select few can make it through. The scar on my heart has changed me but it has not damaged me. I will continue to march forward and live my life just as Tyler ask me to do. 

I will continue to let love in and openly love, and I will choose to have courage and faith each time as I raise up on my tiptoes to place a kiss on the cheek of the man who now tenderly cares for my heart and the scar within.

Video Link- Meeting the Obamas at Arlington National Cemetary

 

(4 Photos taken by Associated Press)

Dark Temptation . . . for the Taste Buds



I have been CRAVING dark chocolate all evening and I finally found the perfect little treat in my cabinet for my taste buds. The greatest part is that it also helped out my hard work'n muscles :o).

I found this little packet of organic dark chocolate whey at my favorite local organic grocery store, and I will definitely be stocking up on more for my late night chocolate cravings.

I mixed the powder with 4 oz of unsweetened coconut milk and 4 oz of water. Next time I am going to try making a shake with ice and natural peanut butter in the blender :o).

Enjoy,

Meg