GF Carrot and Zucchini Muffins

Good Morning Lovelies!

It's a quiet and drizzly day here in our little corner of Germany, so the hubby and I have been spending the morning lazily listening to Jack Johnson while getting grownup chores done.

I took a break from cleaning, hanging laundry to dry, and filing nutrition forms for clients to try a new recipe and make some fresh carrot and ginger juice. Here is the recipe I followed. A few months ago I ordered coconut flour and ended up with 6 bags instead of 4; which was a lot already! I have been searching for coconut flour recipes ever since and hadn't come across many that sounded tasty until this one. The recipe includes 6 eggs, so the end result is a little "eggy", and dense (which is to be expected from a lot of GF recipes), as my hubby and I discussed- haha. I think I will try to make them again but next time just use 4 eggs, add some lemon or ginger, and see what happens.

We have been adding more and more gluten free meals and recipes into our nutrition for the past 4 months. So the one thing I have learned already is that often times going gluten free means there is a lot of trial and error. I thought I would share this experience today so that hopefully, if you are trying GF recipes as well, you are encouraged that you are not alone in the quest to find yummy grain free food : ). My motto is: If your baked goods fall too flat- get your spirits up and try try again. Hahaha.

We are not going gluten free completely, but we have wanted to go 50/50 just to see how we feel. So far we have definitely noticed a difference in how our bodies digest and process glutenous products. We often feel like we swallowed a brick (in my terms) after a meal that involves wheat pasta, etc. Our favorite GF past is a quinoa pasta. It's delicious and satisfies our carb craving like a flour pasta used to for us. This is probably the one permanent change we have made with a gluten free product. We've eaten quinoa pasta the whole past 4 months so we are used to it and often forget it's not a flour pasta.

Anyhow, back to today :). After putting the muffins in the oven I juiced about 8 carrots, 2 inches of ginger, and half a lemon. We enjoyed our juice while we waited for the muffins to be done.

Now we are back to work on our 'To Do' lists while the pup sleeps lazily.
Happy weekend!
~Meg

'All Treats & No Tricks' Giveaway!

Though I am not a huge fan of Halloween, I do love to give away toys and healthy GMO free candies to little ones that ring the doorbell. There aren't very many little goblins, princesses, or superheros that trick-or-treat from door to door here in Germany, so I thought I would be creative and host a giveaway on my facebook page The Nourished Sparrow ( keep in mind that I am in the middle of transitioning from this blog to my website The Nourished Sparrow, so there are times when the two names will be mingling until I am fulling moved in and able to make my little 'nest' over at that website domain nice and neat :). Until then keep checking my posts here for updates and giveaways!

To enter the 'All Treats No Tricks' free 1 hour (via Skype or in person) nutrition and wellness consultation, please click the fb link in the paragraph above for more info. Once you read the description, 'Like' and then share the post to your own facebook page, I can enter your name in the raffle for the consultation giveaway. It's that easy! I will be picking the winner on November 1st at 6 PM CET (Central Europe Time).

Best of luck and may you have a happy, healthy, and festive eveing dressing up as whatever your little heart desires!

Meg                                    

Exciting Changes and a Hopeful Heart

Well hello there faithful readers!

This little bird has been so busy lately!There has been so much going on that my poor little blog has really been left in the corner of my mind all by it's little self! Well, dare I say it... 'I promise' to not leave you my dear readers in the dark anymore :). There are a lot of changes about to take place, one of which is that I will be moving myself from this little corner of the internet to a new spiffy website sometime in the next few months. I am currently trying to either 1. obtain a copy of Website Designing for Dummies, or 2. find a wonderfully creative person to help me make my little site the perfect home for all the great recipes, health info, and personal stories I have to share with you! Either way it will happen-haha.

I want to give you a little update on my health and what has been happening since I last wrote. The most recent blood work done by an endocrinologist, which is who I've wanted to see for a looong time (the military medical system has it's protocol though), has come back and I am meeting with her tomorrow to discuss what exactly the results could mean. There is definitely some significant evidence that my adrenals and pituitary gland are struggling to maintain homeostasis; which is the most probable reason I have been struggling with near syncope episodes, low blood pressure, fight-or-flight malfunctioning responses, etc. the past 2 and half years. We will find out more details tomorrow and hopefully know how to go about healing my adrenals even further than what I have been doing on my own (I will write a post soon about what my daily regimen for this has been.).

Some studies show that it is possible that nearly 80% of people suffer from Adrenal Fatigue; which can result from chronic ongoing stress in a person's life, a medical crisis, or even the intense stress your body suffers when you experience the loss of a loved one. In my case I truly believe that the loss of Tyler in Afghanistan in '09, and all the additional emotional stressors associated with that experience, was what threw my adrenals into this whirlwind of a ride. I suffered from panic attacks for a while as I journeyed through the initial grief, but eventually I was able to heal from that by using 5-HTP (and lots of prayer!); which I learned from the book The Mood Cure. Before Tyer died I had never had much reason to see a doctor and could count on one hand the times I was in a doctor office. Now I have lost count of how many trips I have made and tubes of blood I have given, in the desperate hope I would find a answer and feel normal again.  

I have been on this journey to find those answers and heal from my near syncope/"scary episodes"  for the past 2 and half years. It's been exhausting and oftentimes quite discouraging, but I refuse to lose hope- no matter how much I may feel it is slipping from me. In one of Tyler's facebook posts, and an e-mail that he sent while he was deployed, he said: "Tough days make the good days that much better". That is what I cling to...the faith that the trials I face now are only going to make my future days even better :). 

Stay tuned for more posts, updates on when I am moving to my official website, and even my You Tube channel that is in the works! I'm looking forward to making some videos and hosting giveaways from affiliates on there! 

  

My hubby surprised me with these wildflowers when I recently returned home from a trip to the States for my beloved grandad's funeral. Flowers have a way of lifting the spirit and making you smile even when you don't feel like it. Don't underestimate the power of buying some for yourself too ;). 

With hope, Meg

Sounds of Healing

What we think, speak, and even sing has so much power over the body. I have talked about this fact, and shared books on the topic, in many posts before.

A friend recently told me about music artist Julie True who has been gifted with the ability to write music that quiets the mind and soothes the soul.

I have already bought a few of her songs on iTunes and one of her CDs I ordered on amazon just showed up today :).

Definitely check her music out and be prepared for a wave of encouragement and relaxation to take over your worries and stress. It's like water for the soul's little sprout :).

Love,
Meg

Laid Back Lemons

I'm sure you've heard the phrase- 'When life gives you lemons make lemonade', right? Well, better yet how about making some Lemon Balm tea instead?

Lemon balm tea is known for being extremely helpful with anxiety and stress. I have wanted to try it out for a looong time but I could never seem to either remember it when shopping, or find it when I did remember to look for it! Ha
However, I have finally been successful in placing a order on amazon and my little box of Traditional Medicinals tea has arrived!

This morning I have successfully boiled and poured hot water into a nice big mug and steeped my first tea bag of luscious Lemon Balm. If you would like you can scroll down to the first pic below and join me in reading today's devotional as I sit here waiting for it to steep to perfection :).

Okay, so lets taste this little 'cuppa'. Well it's a soothing lemony aroma and creates a warm sunny glow on the way down the hatch...okay maybe I got a little carried away- haha. Still, it is very pleasant and refreshing. Definitely a must try if you are searching for a little something to help you relax and get rid of some worries.

Here is a link for a little more scientific research: http://www.lef.org/magazine/mag2007/aug2007_report_stress_anxiety_01.htm

So go buy or order yourself some Lemon Balm tea and when you do make sure you come back here and listen to this encouraging and relaxing song while you sip and relax!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GeVf1XQOPg


Love and lemons,
Meg

Journey Through the Desert

Today you get a little treat...and that would be the fact that I have absolutely no idea what the following sentence is going to be!

Thinking...

Have you ever been to the desert? The only time I was anywhere near a desert type of enviroment was when I hiked the Grand Canyon with Tyler (see About Me page). We drove through the night from Colorado Springs to get to the Grand Canyon at sunrise. Well actually, we didnt plan it that way, but by the time he got off work from Ft. Carson and we were finally all packed up (He probably would have interjected right here in a loving tone and say: After YOU were finally packed up...and then laugh in his southern tone.) it was 9PM and we decided we might as well drive straight through until morning and not have to deal with traffic on the 6 hour drive (I think it was about that long.). Tyler was a trooper and navigated his way through the night, and the various States, as I slipped in and out of sleep and tried my best to think up entertaining conversation while he ended up doing all the driving (My husband is probably going to laugh when he reads this and say: Yep, that sounds about right!). What I remember the most about that drive with Tyler are the endless hours of him quizzing me on song and band names as he blasted every oldies radio station he could find. When one faded out into static there was always another one to scan to on the radio! Needless to say I became quite an expert after repeatedly mistaking one of his favorite bands, Old Crow Medicine Show, for one band or another. A little side note- they are one of my favorite bands now :).

After a long and very entertaining road trip, we finally made it to the Grand Canyon with two hours to spare to sleep in the car before the sun rose over the rim. It was a little foggy but it was still worth the push through the night. We grabbed a quick breakfast and then strapped on our packs to begin our descent into the bottom of that majestic great big hole, ha.

I'm not sure exactly why I shared part of this story with you. Before I sat down to write I was thinking about how sometimes it feels like I am emotionally and spiritually traveling through a hot dry desert and God seems to be a million miles away...

My husband 'Kiwi' and I have some big pressing desicions to make about his career and our life as a couple in general. What is his next career move, what do we want our future to look like, what is God's best for us, is there a ministry overseas where God can use our passions and knowledge, do we have enough faith to leave Kiwi's secure job and rely on God to provide whatever we need? I have prayed until I can hear my prayers echoing over eachother in some vast canyon in my heart. There has been no response, answer or leading yet. I have traveled through deserts like this in my life before, and God has always been faithful to provide the perfect answer or oportunity, but often it is in the 11th hour and when I have just about given up hope for a answer. It is because of the deserts I have already weathered in my past that I know God will eventually answer me, it just won't be on my time. Right now I feel a little parched and tired. In my spirit I am weary and questioning if I really know true North, but there is a very quiet warm wind inside my soul that is whispering: be still and listen. I have learned that sometimes God allows us to spiritually and emotionally travel through dry valleys and deserts so that we have less distractions and can hear His voice with more certainity when He does speak. When you are in the desert there isn't much noise is there?

When I was hiking into the Grand Canyon I was in awe of how vast and beautiful the landscape was. I was even more amazed that something so dry, and seemingly lacking life, could be so visually captivating. About half way down I could finally see the well known Colorado River flowing through the valley in the canyon. As I stood there surrounded by red clay (I couldn't even see the origional color of my hiking boots because they were so red!) I was mesmorized by the oasis of a green blob that we were hiking toward for our camping destination. It's amazing what water can bring to a desert-mhmm. Water=life.

Here is what I'm thinking and being reminded of as I write this- God is life. His word (the Bible) is our daily water and without it we will quite surely be spiritually dehydrated (become extremely unhappy, bitter, etc.) as we make our best attempt to journey across the dry patches in life on our own...without 'water'. Our deserts can be: difficult jobs, lack of a job, family issues, loss of a loved one, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, fear, unforgiveness, and the list goes on. These are all things that can, and will cause our hearts to become dry, brittle and broken.

Just because I am not hearing an answer from God right now (there are many ways to 'hear' Him) doesn't mean He isn't with me, or more importantly that He doesn't care. I think sometimes God wants us to take a 'walkabout' and learn exactly how and why we need to rely on Him for our fresh supply of 'water' to keep our souls and and hearts strong for the journey. He wants us to cry out to Him and ask for His help. He WANTS to hear our voices echo into the canyon for help. He longs to helps us and lead us, and He loves it even more when we have the faith of a blind man in the desert and rely on him to lead us into a green oasis for rest.

How we travel through a desert has everything to do with who we put our trust in. I can either choose to trust myself and hope my internal compass leads me in a direction that provides a oasis of oportunity, or, I can make the desicion to trust God with my weary body and soul and know that the time I dedicate to filling my canteen with His 'water' (studying the Bible) will give me just enough strength for each day; and eventually in His perfect time He will lead me (my husband and me) straight to the perfect job, oportunity, etc.

So my challenge to myself, and to you my dear reader, is this- Are you spending time in the Bible daily and getting your supply of' water' to sustain you? Don't get caught with a empty canteen in a desert on your journey through life! He is by your side and will answer you in His perfect timing. He will bring you out of the desert just as he provided water for the Isrealites and brought them out of their desert (Exodus 17). He is Faithful and Loving!

"Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” The woman said, “Sir, give me this water so I won’t ever get thirsty, won’t ever have to come back to this well again!” -John 4:13-14 (The MSG)

^"And He said to me, “It is done!I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts." - Revelation 21:6

"And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb."- Revelation 22:1


Love and Happy Trails, Meg




 

Herbs for a Broken Heart

I came across this article today and I thought you might like to take a look at some great herbs that are known to help with emotional healing. I have been wanting to try Lemon Balm tea for quite a while but had never gotten around to ordering it. I did a search on amazon today and found one of my favorite brands offering it with free shipping- big bonus :). I'm looking forward to putting the kettle on and enjoying a 'cuppa' of lemony goodness as soon as it arrives!

Check out the article:http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6513/5-Herbs-to-Heal-a-Broken-Heart.html

Here is the Lemon Balm on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0089VPTZ8/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

Cheers to a cup of healthy goodness,
Meg

Diving into Fearlessness

Hi sweet friends!

I simply can not believe it has been so long since we caught up! I wanted to let you know I am still around and I am excited to share with you everything I have been learning about health, wholeness, positive thinking, faith, and love these past months. The last time I wrote was when my mom came to spend the month of June with me in Germany. She came to stay while my husband was away for work and I was going through some difficult health issues of constantly feeling like I was passing out. It was so great to have her company and thankfully I had a few random days and weeks that I felt well enough, as the month went by, to do some traveling with her.

If you have been a reader for a while you know my story and that I went through a time of unrelenting panic attacks and grief; and that I started this blog in hopes to help others heal emotionally and physically; and to be encouraged. You might also remember that I was incredibly fearful of my husbands upcoming deployment, due to already losing Tyler in Afghanistan (see About Me page).

In the months that I have been absent from my little blog 'garden' I have learned so much and grown into a much stronger person than I dare say I've ever been before. I have been determined to face my fears with authority and learn the art of positive thinking and speaking.

I am now in the midst of my husband's and my first deployment together; and though it is hard to be away from him, I know that I am more than able to get though these months and not just by barely surviving them. It is a trilling feeling to be able to look at yourself and know you have conquered a variety of fears and worries.

To be completely honest, it wasn't until a few days after my husband 'Kiwi' had deployed that I realized how much stronger I had become. I was a little concerned that I was emotionally detached and not processing things in a healthy way. I completely expected to feel as though I was unraveling at both ends, but I was quite calm and collected in the days and weeks after we said "see you later" (I refused to say "goodbye") and he boarded the bus. I flew home to the States the next day to be with my family for a while and I kept thinking I would finally break down when I got there, because surely there would be a point when this odd peace would dissipate...right?!

When I was finally with my family and I had a couple days to settle in I began to try and process what the peace was I was feeling; and more importantly if it was either visiting me for a short season or a permanent resident in my heart and mind. I had asked a group of close friends to committ to keeping Kiwi, and me, in their prayers during the deployment. Mostly I just wanted to know that other people were praying for his safety while he was deployed. I had also asked that they would keep me in their prayers as well and pray specifically that I would feel strength and peace during the deployment. I know without a doubt that the prayers of these women are circled around me and my husband each and every day as we push through this deployment; and they play a huge role in my new found strength.

However, I felt there was something else that had helped to set my mind free from all the worry that had plagued me the past few years. Not only did I not feel as much fear about the deployment as I expected, but I also didn't feel as bound by fear about my physical issues of randomly almost passing out, panic attacks, etc. I had been reading so many books on positive thinking and the art of taming my fearful thoughts and worry (Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer); as well as pouring over bible verses promising God's rest and peace. Had I finally mastered it? As I started to think back through the months before the deployment I realized there was something that had helped me let go of the worry I had been holding onto, and it might sound quite odd at first...

When my hubby and I went to Thailand on our pre deployment vacation we decided to sign up for scuba diving lessons...well Kiwi signed up and then somehow convinced me it would be an adventure of a lifetime and that I should consider doing it with him! Originally the scuba diving certification course was supposed to be his birthday gift because it was going to take him away from me for 3 days on our vacation. Kiwi kept encouraging me that I should talk to the dive instructor and consider trying at least the first day. All I could think about was the fact that I had 5 major fears (1. fear of sharks 2. claustrophobia with all the gear on and feeling trapped under water 3. fear of drowning due to a close call on a rafting trip 4. having a panick attack under water 5. blood pressure issues...which the doctors were starting to think were causing my passing out episodes.) that were telling me this was a very bad idea and there was no way I could do it.

The short version of the story is that I somehow worked up enough courage to give it a try, mostly thanks to my persistant husband and a awesome dive instructor that offered to give me a free little lesson in the pool to build up my courage before I committed to signing up for the class which started the next day. After working on calm and collected breathing underwater with the instructor, and keeping a small panic attack at bay, I was swimming around on my own on the bottom of the pool 30 minutes later! I was still super nervous the next day when we had to actually start the course and perform various tasks underwater; and even more anxious the second day when we went diving for the first time in the open water with the fish. All I could think about when we were headed out to the diving site were the 5 major fears I listed above. However, I pushed through each fear one at a time and by the time I came up to the surface I was a new woman. I just didn't know how vastly that one activity had now changed my life...until I found myself in those first few days of the deployment!



What I have realized is that because I pushed through all those fears, during a single activity I might add, I was able to prove to myself very quickly just how much strength I have in me. I left my worries at the bottom of the ocean with the little fish, and they will never surface so easily again. It's so powerful when your mind is able to prove to you what your spirit has always known!



The reason I am sharing all of this is because I have now realized that I conquered a whole other fear, my biggest fear, when I conquered those other 5. I realized in those first few days of the deployment that I wasn't falling apart, and the reason was because I had- hope. I have hope that I will make it through this deployment emotionally and that my husband will indeed come home alive to me. I feel strong and enabled by my faith to face these months with the strength God is pouring into my heart and soul each day. I am not frail and fearful as I was before; because I have proven to myself that I absolutely can make the choice to override ANY fear.

(This isn't the most flattering picture but hey, what can a girl do on a rainy and windy diving day ;).

 



We all have to power to make that choice each day. We can either live in the fearfulness that binds our hearts and chokes our minds, or we can decide to push through and maybe do something crazy...we can have hope and faith that we are strong enough to get through with God's help and live in victory as we were always destined to do :).

Of course I'm not saying you have to go on a diving excursion in order to be freed from your fears, but what I am saying is that I have learned how important it is to push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to override a fear. Sometimes proving to yourself that your courage is bigger than your fear will remind you that God is bigger than YOU, and able to do far more in your life than you could ever imagine!


"God can do anything , you know- far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us," - Ephesians 3:20 (The Message)


Be Encouraged, Meg



"Marmie" Comes to Germany

Happy Monday friends!
 I hope you had a lovely and relaxing weekend and are ready to face your new week (either in the office, at home, or wherever you might find yourself) with positive thoughts and determination to be thankful for even the smallest of things when the biggest of things try to get you down. If you can't tell this has been my challenge/mantra to myself the past few weeks, haha. 

Between dealing with my health issues seeming to get worse and my new husband gearing up for a deployment later in the year, I have been battling fearful thoughts left and right.

Due to Kiwi needing to leave for a "handful" of time, we all decided very recently (along with my current 3rd Dr., three times might actually be the charm!) that I needed to have someone with me and not be alone while I am having these low blood pressure/blacking out, etc.symptoms.

Sooo, I am currently finding myself sitting next to my mother who traveled all the way to Germany with only about 48 hours of notice! She packed her bags and hopped on her first plane to Europe like a trooper!

Could I look anymore happy and grateful to have her on the ground by my side?!

 
"Marmie" flew in this past Friday and the next morning we were buying goodies at my local farmer's market for a yummy dinner on my balcony. I must admit that I have been relying on my husband to do most the chatting with the locals; but thank goodness I had been stepping out of my comfort zone more the past few weeks and learning a little more German while he and I were out and about. By the time mom and I were walking away with our bags full of yummy treats my brain was in full on German mode (to the best of my ability and current vocabulary, ha).

 
Here were our goodies:
weiss spargel (white asparagus), cantaloupe, carrots with tops, beet roots with tops, olives, goat cheese, dolmas, stuffed peppers, and tzatziki sauce. I mentioned my veggies that had their tops because that required a very humorous and "charade like" discussion to keep those tops for my juicing purposes! LOL

After dropping off our purchases at the apartment we met up with my friend and neighbor to take a stroll around town...
 `
This is a beautiful church that is near the markplatz (where the farmer's market is held). You can hear the bells chime daily and they are especially cheerfully dancing on Sundays.

This is a statue of what seems to be a good Samaritan handing money to a poor local. 

After a little stroll  though part of the town we took a relaxing walk through a beautiful park where there are water fountains, ponds, and landscape that made you feel like you had stepped into one of Monet's paintings...pretty close to it anyways ;).

In the middle of the park there is a quaint little "beergarten" where I must admit I had to buy mom a small Ratler so she could experience the German specialty of a lemonade beer!
 

After all of this excitement and walking around I was pretty worn out (my energy level is low due to whatever is going on with me) and mom was just as ready to head back to the apartment to taste our smorgasbord of food from our market trip.

When all was said and done we had quite a fun filled day as "Marmie's" first day in Germany. And who would have guessed that she would be over here being my buddy in almost just a snap of the fingers...

I share all of this because I believe that God watches out for his "children" just like our real parents do. He is ready and willing to be there in just a blink of an eye, especially when we are willing to ask for His help.

Even though my current health issues are a mystery to the doctors (for the time being) and I have heightened fear because of Kiwi's impending deployment, I will not be ruled by these fears- no matter how many times they try to sneak up and overwhelm me.

I believe that we have power and victory over fear and anything that tries to steal away our joy, peace, and happiness. God has given us the ability to move above and beyond our circumstances. It's up to us though if we are going to sit and camp in our fears or stand up and tell them to take a hike!

I don't have all the answers and I deal with my fears every day, but I am also learning more each day about how to "give 'em the boot" and live my day with peace instead. God want's us to live a full and long life filled with all the happiness and peace we can possibly contain.Sometimes he's just waiting for us to give him a "call" and say: "I need you. Can you come stay a while".

 I guarantee that no mater where you are in the world He will be there in a jiffy :).

-Meg (and "Marmie")

Remembering Tyler's Deployment Day (3 Years Ago)

3 years ago today I said goodbye to an amazing man that I loved dearly. He was on his way to war but even that couldn't wipe the smile off his face. I remember we sat in the little building on post, with our friends Eric Edstrom and Lindsay Marchbanks, as Tyler played around on his guitar and strummed favorite songs by Johnny Cash

He was ready to walk into the future and tackle whatever came his way. After about and hour of waiting on post they announced that we had a few last few seconds to say goodbye. Tyler packed up his guitar and as we said our final goodbye in the rain I clung to the last grasp of his fingers and then he slung his weapon over his shoulder and joined formation. He was was right in front of me but he was gone.

I stood there, as though the rain froze me in place, and watch him as he became part of a sea of ACUs and weapons. For a few seconds I lost him in the group of men but then finally there he was- with a smile still grinning from ear to ear. I will never understand what makes a man excited to go off to war, but what I do know is that it takes character to face an unknown future with a smile on your face.

I didn't know that morning what was in my future, or that that moment was my last goodbye in person to Tyler. I didn't know that barely 4 months later I would have to say the hardest goodbye I've ever had to utter to someone who was already gone.

We never know what is in our future, and I've spent the past 3 years trying to learn how to live more in the moment, as Tyler did. He was sure and steadfast in his faith in God. When I think back on conversations that we had I can't help but wonder how much of what he said to me was him, or God talking through him. His words before deployment and letters throughout deployment were full of strength, hope, and peace.He was always reminding me to place my trust in God and "enjoy the journey of life".

I have struggled many days since we lost Tyler in Afghanistan, but I have also seen the Lord pour blessings over my life. I remember the very first words I managed to say to my family the day after we lost Tyler and I flew home to Virginia. As they all huddled around and cried with me all I could say was that there was nobody else out there for me. There was nobody that could love me the same and understand me the same. My heart was shattered and I couldn't see how there ever would be hope for a future with love...

Tyler told me something very important a few days before he left. He looked me square in my eyes, only inches away, put both hands on my shoulders, and said: " Meg, if something happens and I don't come back I want you to find a man that loves you as much as I do. You need someone that will support you and push you to do all that you are able to do. Find someone that will encourage you to do something with your writings and help you pursue your dreams...". I was so emotional during this conversation that my mind wandered elsewhere while he was talking and I can now only remember bits and pieces of the rest of what he said. What is important though is that he set free with that conversation. He prepared my heart for what was ahead and he planted a seed in my heart that would one day be able to bloom into a love for someone else.

That someone else is now my husband of almost 4 months. 'Kiwi' is everything I was so determined wasn't out there for me, and everything I know Tyler would (and did) wish for me to have in this life on earth. My husband is my rock and my forever. Now that I can look back, I believe God placed Tyler in my life to help prepare me for who he had planned for me to live life with all along. I can't claim to know all the reasons things happened the way they did, but I do know that Tyler was in my life for very specific reasons. He made me stronger, challenged me to dig deeper into my faith, made me laugh, made me cry, taught me to trust a man again, made me feel beautiful, with God's help he restored my self worth, and he helped me understand God's heart just a little more each day. He made me come alive and feel again after going through so many bad relationships and shutting myself down. He made me strong again. He helped me be what my name means- 'strong at heart'. In the year that we were together he prepared me for my future without even knowing it.

I now have an incredible man that I am blessed to call my husband and I have a future I can walk into with him. He is loving, patient, supportive of my writing, encourages me to follow my dreams, and is always there for me. He loves me despite my "uglies" and is more than I ever dreamed I would have in my life. Kiwi is truly the answer to many wordless prayers that were simply cries from my soul.

I still have sad days and moments when I miss Tyler, but I remind myself that this is not the end and I will see him again one day. Here and now though I will continue to live my life just as he asked me to do that day; and I am beyond blessed to walk this earth hand in hand with my adoring husband.

Living with purpose, faith, and love,

Meg

Rise and Praise

Good morning sweet friends!

I wanted to share a little bit of what's on my heart and my latest health experiences. I know some of you that read my postings also deal with anxiety, depression, grief and more. I share my personal experiences in hopes that I might be an encouragement and companion to you along your own journey towards healing. It is a lonely road when you travel on your own and I personally have been so encouraged when I have met other people/friends that are on the same path as me. It makes our experiences feel less lonely when there is someone there to listen and who truly understands what emotional and physical health hurdles you face each day. I hope that in some way my blog is a way for you to feel less lonely on this journey, and that the various health tips, recipes, strange concoctions :), quotes, and my personal experiences I share will bring your body and soul strength and encouragement.

The latest hurdle in my journey has been two Dr. visits on the military base here. It has been hard to switch from a caring holistic doctor in the States, who took lots of time with me and understood my approach to wanting to heal my body as naturally as possible (she would even give me a hug at the end of each visit; which I believe is some of the best medicine!), to now seeing a standard doctor that is more used to prescribing pills that only focus on the symptoms. There have been times I needed those, but I believe that it is extremely important to find the root of the problem and to have total physical and/or emotional healing.

My first doctor visit on the military base here was so terrible that I left the office in tears and my husband and I immediately went to the office to request a new PCM (essentially my military doctor while stationed in Germany). We were given a new doctor that I could see on post, and I am currently waiting to hear from the office if there is also a holistic doctor on the economy that I might be able to see.

Last week I went to see the new assigned doctor who was at least willing to listen to me and run some tests; instead of the prior one who was shoving me out the door before I could even finish what my symptoms are. The only problem now is that I personally absolutely believe that I am blood deficient, which is causing a lot of my symptoms that are unrelated to anxiety/panic, and so giving 6-7 tubes of blood ended up making me super lethargic and weak for three full days afterwards. I knew I needed to have the tests done but it really feels like I'm between a rock and a hard place sometimes. In the mean time I have been taking lots of iron supplements and making healthy meals that help with blood building. It seems to help me feel better after I eat/take these different things, but I also know that it takes time to build your blood. The past two days have been a little rough and scary due to feeling dizzy and "out of body" almost constantly throughout the day, so I end up feeling like I could pass out any second; which isn't very comforting when my hubby is away at work or on trips.

So, the moral of this story :)...is that I have been spending a lot of time focusing on verses in the Bible that I can meditate on when fear and anxiety start to creep into my thoughts. Dealing with anxiety and panic attack on their own are difficult enough. Throw in additional health issues and that panic becomes an even bigger monster that refuses to go away. I have found that praise and worship music really helps keep my mind off unhelpful thoughts and reminds me of where to focus my thoughts and put my faith. I know my God is bigger that any health issue or panic filled thought that ever enters my mind. I am determined to win this battle and I know that "nothing is impossible with God."- Luke 1:3

Here are a few of my favorites verses at the moment:

When I am upset and beside myself, he will calm me down and cheer me up.

(paraphrased from Psalm 94:19 in The Message)

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know and trust me.Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you, then throw you a party. 

Psalm 91:14-15 The Message

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns." 

Philippians 4:6- The Message

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers - most of which are never even seen - don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." 

 Matthew 6:30-34 -The Message

After the last two frustrating days, including this morning, of feeling unwell (shaky, out of body, dizzy, nauseous, etc.) and discouraged; I am determined to keep my mind focus on what I know to be true. My God adores me and knows my every need. He has everything under control and is just waiting for me to trust Him to provide and heal. I will choose to rejoice in all situations and live each day with purpose instead of fear. It is not an easy task, but I know I am not alone and he will give me encouragement and strength through my friends and family...as well as when I sit quietly to listen to His voice- He will speak life into my soul. 

So, this morning I woke up choosing to have an attitude of thankfulness for a beautiful day and went to make myself a yummy healthy smoothie with my new German blender :). Here are some snapshots of my morning.

Blessings to you along this trail we are on.
Your "hiking buddy" :),
Meg

Be blessed, Meg

Minty Fresh Lemonade with Manuka Honey

Yay! I'm finally able to sit down for a little spell and tell you about the tasty fresh lemonade I made last week and how the moving into our apartment is going! I have managed to reduce the pile of boxes down to just a few that contain clothes and shoes. After maaaany trips to Ikea down the street, we finally decided on two adorable gray 'his' and 'hers' armours for the bedroom. So hopefully those boxes will disappear soon too! It's been quite a challenge to come up with creative storage options for the apartment since Germany isn't big on building closets in their homes. Yesterday we picked up a cute white shelf for the bathroom, which I am very proud that I managed to put together on my own this morning (with only picture directions), and it is now in the bathroom waiting to be super useful :). I will share pictures of that accomplishment in my next post!

While I was unpacking last week....

...I decided I needed a little break, so I stopped to make some tasty mint lemonade with the lemons and mint I had purchased from the local market, and sweetened it with Manuka honey that my mother-in-law sent us from New Zealand. I pretty much threw everything together until it tasted perfecto and viola- mint lemonade in a mason jar!

For those of you who might feel a little more comforted by having a 'recipe':

1. juice about 5-6 lemons

2. chop about a half cup of fresh mint leaves

3. add 3-4 tablespoons of Manuka honey (melt first)

4. shake up and let sit in fridge overnight for a more minty flavor

5. Strain with a cheese cloth the next day and- enjoy!

*I used less honey and added a little bit of truvia to sweeten naturally without the calories. 

(Be sure to click on the Manuka link above to find out what all this special honey has in it and can do for your health!)

 (ingredients-= simple)

(a touch of pretty lemon to top it off)

(and of course I needed a little slice of poppy seed cheesecake, which we had picked up at the market the day before, to go along with my refreshing homemade beverage :).

Enjoy!

Love, Meg

Home Goodies Arrived!

Hi friends!

I haven't had much Internet access(and apparently it might take a while for the German Internet provider to make a trip to our apartment). I will do my best though to keep you updated on our 'setting up home' progress! I simply can't wait to start cooking and making raw treats in my kitchen soon!

In the mean time, check out The Watered Sprout on Facebook for some photos from the other day when our home goodies finally arrived (at 6:30 AM!...So please excuse the 'just rolled out of bed' look, ha)and I was once again reunited with my wonderful kitchen friends :0).

Meg

Moving into Our Nest!

Well we are finally out of the military hotel and in our cute little apartment! We have our "unaccompanied luggage", which has been sitting in our hotel room this whole time, so we at least have our air mattress and basic necessities. All of the rest of our home goods will be delivered tomorrow...and then the real fun begins :0).

I can't begin to express how elated I am to finally have a home here in Germany and feel like we are a "normal" couple. It will also be like a mini Christmas since we still have wedding gifts to unwrap now that it's 3 months later- crazy huh?!

I might not be able to update my blog as frequently the next few weeks, due to temporary Internet restrictions (I am currently writing from my iPhone), but I will try my best to share the latest news! Be sure to check our my Facebook page to stay even more informed in our adventures here!

I must admit I think I am most excited to finally have a kitchen again and be able to make so many yummy and health goodies for my hubby and me!! I look forward to sharing pics and ideas soon...and trying out all those great recipes that I have found on pinterest (boy, I think I could spend days on there and never even notice the time tick by!).

I will do my best to post move in pics tomorrow!

 Meg

Running the Race in Life

Happy Sunday friends!

The other day I was moved to tears after watching an extremely motivating and encouraging video of a gal who took a fall during a race on a track field in 2008. What moved me is her determination and how she showed so many people what can still be accomplished when you pick yourself up and run with perseverance.

Stress, worry, anxiety and fear are all crippling and I know from personal experience that it is often so difficult to pick myself up, so to speak, and keep running the race of life every day. This video is so simple but it was an emotional reminder to me that nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). 

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Be inspired by the video.

"Running a race" (in which I mean living every day life, haha) through anxiety and grief, or just every day stress in the modern world, in not a solo race. It is a relay race. I am learning that the heartache and struggles we go through in life are what link us together and allow us to become stronger as a team...as Believers. My life story and pain allows me to understand other women who have suffered loss and anxiety in a way that someone else may not know. No matter what our story, it is our responsibility as a Christan to "carry the baton" by being there to offer words of encouragement, prayer, or simply a listening ear. We all have our own race to run in life, but the beauty of the race is when we learn the art of passing along batons so that either others can help us finish the race, or we can help someone else continue.

And as an added bonus here is another video I just found of an Olympian that was determined to not give up. When his father saw his pain he ran out onto the track and helped his son finish the race. This is what our Heavenly Father does for us.

Inspired,

Meg

Pretty Paint Colors

(*see photo description below post)

I met the painter yesterday and turned in the final choices for our pretty wall colors! It was quite an interestng conversation due to the language barrier, but thanks to my friend Melissa (Daniel and I met her and her husband shortly after we arrived in Germany; and her husband is currently deployed) we were able to explain which colors go where and that all other walls and ceilings would be "weiss" (white). The painter is a very chipper man and although we could barely understand one another he always had a smile on his face and was making some funny joke in German. After about an hour of playing our own version of German Charades we handed him the apartment key, the colorful wheel of paint colors I had borrowed, and walked out the door and down the hall to...Melissa's apartment! Yep, that's right. We are going to be neighbors...literally only a few doors down the hallway and our balconies are so close that we joke we will be able to pass butter and sugar across. We've also thought about making a tin can telephone :o). It will be nice to have each other so close when the guys are away being little warriors in far off lands.

Stay tuned...I can't wait to show you pics of when the apartment in painted and we finally get to move in and make a homey spot here in Germany!

Love, Meg

(*This was the only photo I took on my phone before I turned the color wheel in, so it will have to do until you see the colors on the walls! The teal on the bottom of the strip, closest to you, is going on some walls in the kitchen, adjoining living room, and open loft. The gray with be in the hallway, peach/orange on a wall in the bedroom, and unfortunately you can't see the lovely vintage green that will be in the office.)