Exciting Changes and a Hopeful Heart

Well hello there faithful readers!

This little bird has been so busy lately!There has been so much going on that my poor little blog has really been left in the corner of my mind all by it's little self! Well, dare I say it... 'I promise' to not leave you my dear readers in the dark anymore :). There are a lot of changes about to take place, one of which is that I will be moving myself from this little corner of the internet to a new spiffy website sometime in the next few months. I am currently trying to either 1. obtain a copy of Website Designing for Dummies, or 2. find a wonderfully creative person to help me make my little site the perfect home for all the great recipes, health info, and personal stories I have to share with you! Either way it will happen-haha.

I want to give you a little update on my health and what has been happening since I last wrote. The most recent blood work done by an endocrinologist, which is who I've wanted to see for a looong time (the military medical system has it's protocol though), has come back and I am meeting with her tomorrow to discuss what exactly the results could mean. There is definitely some significant evidence that my adrenals and pituitary gland are struggling to maintain homeostasis; which is the most probable reason I have been struggling with near syncope episodes, low blood pressure, fight-or-flight malfunctioning responses, etc. the past 2 and half years. We will find out more details tomorrow and hopefully know how to go about healing my adrenals even further than what I have been doing on my own (I will write a post soon about what my daily regimen for this has been.).

Some studies show that it is possible that nearly 80% of people suffer from Adrenal Fatigue; which can result from chronic ongoing stress in a person's life, a medical crisis, or even the intense stress your body suffers when you experience the loss of a loved one. In my case I truly believe that the loss of Tyler in Afghanistan in '09, and all the additional emotional stressors associated with that experience, was what threw my adrenals into this whirlwind of a ride. I suffered from panic attacks for a while as I journeyed through the initial grief, but eventually I was able to heal from that by using 5-HTP (and lots of prayer!); which I learned from the book The Mood Cure. Before Tyer died I had never had much reason to see a doctor and could count on one hand the times I was in a doctor office. Now I have lost count of how many trips I have made and tubes of blood I have given, in the desperate hope I would find a answer and feel normal again.  

I have been on this journey to find those answers and heal from my near syncope/"scary episodes"  for the past 2 and half years. It's been exhausting and oftentimes quite discouraging, but I refuse to lose hope- no matter how much I may feel it is slipping from me. In one of Tyler's facebook posts, and an e-mail that he sent while he was deployed, he said: "Tough days make the good days that much better". That is what I cling to...the faith that the trials I face now are only going to make my future days even better :). 

Stay tuned for more posts, updates on when I am moving to my official website, and even my You Tube channel that is in the works! I'm looking forward to making some videos and hosting giveaways from affiliates on there! 

  

My hubby surprised me with these wildflowers when I recently returned home from a trip to the States for my beloved grandad's funeral. Flowers have a way of lifting the spirit and making you smile even when you don't feel like it. Don't underestimate the power of buying some for yourself too ;). 

With hope, Meg

Rise and Praise

Good morning sweet friends!

I wanted to share a little bit of what's on my heart and my latest health experiences. I know some of you that read my postings also deal with anxiety, depression, grief and more. I share my personal experiences in hopes that I might be an encouragement and companion to you along your own journey towards healing. It is a lonely road when you travel on your own and I personally have been so encouraged when I have met other people/friends that are on the same path as me. It makes our experiences feel less lonely when there is someone there to listen and who truly understands what emotional and physical health hurdles you face each day. I hope that in some way my blog is a way for you to feel less lonely on this journey, and that the various health tips, recipes, strange concoctions :), quotes, and my personal experiences I share will bring your body and soul strength and encouragement.

The latest hurdle in my journey has been two Dr. visits on the military base here. It has been hard to switch from a caring holistic doctor in the States, who took lots of time with me and understood my approach to wanting to heal my body as naturally as possible (she would even give me a hug at the end of each visit; which I believe is some of the best medicine!), to now seeing a standard doctor that is more used to prescribing pills that only focus on the symptoms. There have been times I needed those, but I believe that it is extremely important to find the root of the problem and to have total physical and/or emotional healing.

My first doctor visit on the military base here was so terrible that I left the office in tears and my husband and I immediately went to the office to request a new PCM (essentially my military doctor while stationed in Germany). We were given a new doctor that I could see on post, and I am currently waiting to hear from the office if there is also a holistic doctor on the economy that I might be able to see.

Last week I went to see the new assigned doctor who was at least willing to listen to me and run some tests; instead of the prior one who was shoving me out the door before I could even finish what my symptoms are. The only problem now is that I personally absolutely believe that I am blood deficient, which is causing a lot of my symptoms that are unrelated to anxiety/panic, and so giving 6-7 tubes of blood ended up making me super lethargic and weak for three full days afterwards. I knew I needed to have the tests done but it really feels like I'm between a rock and a hard place sometimes. In the mean time I have been taking lots of iron supplements and making healthy meals that help with blood building. It seems to help me feel better after I eat/take these different things, but I also know that it takes time to build your blood. The past two days have been a little rough and scary due to feeling dizzy and "out of body" almost constantly throughout the day, so I end up feeling like I could pass out any second; which isn't very comforting when my hubby is away at work or on trips.

So, the moral of this story :)...is that I have been spending a lot of time focusing on verses in the Bible that I can meditate on when fear and anxiety start to creep into my thoughts. Dealing with anxiety and panic attack on their own are difficult enough. Throw in additional health issues and that panic becomes an even bigger monster that refuses to go away. I have found that praise and worship music really helps keep my mind off unhelpful thoughts and reminds me of where to focus my thoughts and put my faith. I know my God is bigger that any health issue or panic filled thought that ever enters my mind. I am determined to win this battle and I know that "nothing is impossible with God."- Luke 1:3

Here are a few of my favorites verses at the moment:

When I am upset and beside myself, he will calm me down and cheer me up.

(paraphrased from Psalm 94:19 in The Message)

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God, "I'll get you out of any trouble. I'll give you the best of care if you'll only get to know and trust me.Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times; I'll rescue you, then throw you a party. 

Psalm 91:14-15 The Message

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns." 

Philippians 4:6- The Message

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers - most of which are never even seen - don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." 

 Matthew 6:30-34 -The Message

After the last two frustrating days, including this morning, of feeling unwell (shaky, out of body, dizzy, nauseous, etc.) and discouraged; I am determined to keep my mind focus on what I know to be true. My God adores me and knows my every need. He has everything under control and is just waiting for me to trust Him to provide and heal. I will choose to rejoice in all situations and live each day with purpose instead of fear. It is not an easy task, but I know I am not alone and he will give me encouragement and strength through my friends and family...as well as when I sit quietly to listen to His voice- He will speak life into my soul. 

So, this morning I woke up choosing to have an attitude of thankfulness for a beautiful day and went to make myself a yummy healthy smoothie with my new German blender :). Here are some snapshots of my morning.

Blessings to you along this trail we are on.
Your "hiking buddy" :),
Meg

Be blessed, Meg

A Season to Laugh and A Season to Cry . . . and then a season to happy cry.

Well friends, it has been about a whole season since I have written and I thought it was definitely time to start typing and sharing again. Since my last entry I have had quite a few things happen in my life. Back in September I had a super scary health "episode" sneek up on me and almost convince me to call the trusty ambulance. As many of you know, I have been battling what doctors are labeling as "panic attacks" for about 2 years now. As I shared in previous posts I had found some natural supplements, as well as nutrition advice, that had helped me stop the panic attacks all together. I had a blissful handful of months where I finally felt like a little bird that had been set free and was no longer caged in fear of another "panic session" wreaking havock on my body. As the months went by I continued to maintain my supplement and nutrition plan. However, about 4 months ago, on a random morning, my body completely started shutting down and acting like it was just simply giving up the fight. After hours of being curled up in a ball and unable to stand, due to low blood pressure type symptoms and many other issues, everything finally passed. My mom came to my rescue, as moms always do, after her two hour drive to get to me; and by the time she arrived I was feeling like my body was trying to return to normal slowly but surely. Ofcourse this whole time I was mentally battling massive amounts of fear, which only made some symptoms worse. . . as fear always does!

I was blessed to have my youngest sis stay with me for a few days, to keep an eye on me and play nurse :0). I seemed to feel tolerable the next few days and weeks but then it happened again. After 4 months, more holistic Dr visits, tests, and even more money, no one still has a clue what's going on and exactly what to do. The biggest conclusion is that I am anemic/ blood deficient. So, I have been eating red meat like its the end of the world and seeing a acupuncturist every week the past 2 months. I have to say that my fear of these attacks definitely trumped my long lived fear of needles. Haha.

All in all I do believe everything I have been doing has been helping in its own little way. I still have little waves of "oh no, is it happening again?" but so far it's been a lot tamer and nothing close to the intensity of the first experience.

I didn't write and share about all of this for a while because I have been concerned that I would sound like "Debbie Downer", but I do want to continue to be open and honest about my journey and what I find out along the way :0).

The Fall season this year was extremely challenging for me and definitely caused many tears to leak and fears to rise, but it's a new season now and even though its cold and seams dead outside it is a season of hope, laughter, and love.

In my last post I shared a little about the amazing man thats in my life now and what a blessing his friendship, patients, and love has been the past 3 years. On December 10th he asked me, under a full moonlit sky, to be his girl forever. . . a new season bloomed in my heart and in the world around me that very moment.

We are only just 3 weeks engaged and currently in the middle of joyious wedding planning mayhem, haha; because the military is sending us to a post in Germany the second week of February. So, we have a total of 4 weeks left before our big day, and then we are on our way to a honeymoon in Paris and two years of newlywed adventure in Germany.

The seasons of your life change so fast, and you never know what is just around the corner on the path ahead of you. All I know is that each season is new and makes up the story of my life. Even though I haven't understood a lot of the "seasons" in my life that have past, I can see more clearly now why they were so important and how they played a part in causing Daniel's and my friendship to blossom into everlasting love...even in the middle of a moonlit winter night.

Meg

Candle Love

Yes I must admit, I have a SERIOUS addiction to candles. I honestly don't think there is anything more relaxing than being in a room full of lit candles. It has definitely become my therapy of choice on days when I feel like I need to take a 'chill pill' after dealing with the stressed of life. I currently have 5 candles around me and I feel as happy as a little clam :o). I have no idea why, but I have been enamored with candles since I was little. Maybe it's the mesmerizing way the flame dances like a firefly, or just the warmth of the ambiance that fills the room. Either way, it is my self prescribed therapy. If I lived next to the beach that would be the untimate therapy for the soul, but until then candles will do :o).

So, if you are feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders then you absolutely must surround yourself in a peaceful room of whimsically flickering candles, grab a relaxing book, maybe listen to a little of this, and let the stress melt away :o).

Happy Relaxing, Meg

What is Rolf?

I mentioned in an earlier post that I am considering acupuncture/acupressure to help with my anxiety and panic attacks. As I've been researching possible benefits I have come across other techniques as well. I found this article today,http://www.naturalhealthmag.com/fitness/mind-body/lose-pain, and am wondering if anyone has ever heard of Rolf and has been treated by this technique. What are your thoughts/experiences?

http://www.rolf.org/about

Meg

Clinging to Natural Healing

Well, another school year has come to an end and the summer has arrived. Life has felt like quite a whirlwind this month. I said goodbye to my two pre-k classes, my younger sister got married (the first wedding for the 4 of us girls), and then Memorial Day came. There has been such a vast array of emotions as these milestones have arrived this month; and despite my best efforts to face any emotion, I have found myself dealing with an increase in my anxiety level and have suffered from more consistent panic attacks the past few weeks.

I continue to take a low grade prescription of Clonazepam, when I absolutely feel that I need it, but my goal is to be taking only natural remedies. I found an article on http://www.naturalnews.com/ with a list of natural alternatives, some I'm already taking, and others I am planning on introducing into my daily routine. I wanted to share the link with you and find out if any of you have tried some/all of them, and what your thoughts are on how effective you found certain herbs/minerals. I am also looking into acupuncture as a remedy and am curious if anyone has ever tried it, specifically for anxiety.

The three things that seem to help my anxiety during/after a difficult day are: Natural Calm (Magnesium Suppliment), Emotional Ally by Wish Garden Herbs, and SAM-e (200 mg)

Link: Natural Healing for Anxiety and Panic Disorders

To Watering Our Sprout of Hope, Meg