Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Words Like Poisoned Apples

 “Only speak words that make souls stronger”

Today has been a self reflection day. It has been similar to the scary experiences I’ve had when I have woken up and stared into the bathroom mirror after a rough night of sleep, except today the mirror wasn’t focused on my dishevelled morning hair.  
I believe that the beauty a person possesses inside his or her heart is one of the most important things they should tend to each day. However, today I was faced with the reality that my ‘inside beauty’ has grown quite unruly and wild. I feel a little like my heart is a fairytale castle that’s turned to ruin because I’ve neglected to keep vines of envy, fear, and selfishness from taking over the walls.
When I was a little girl I used to make my mom read Snow White to me over and over again for nights on end. I don’t know why that was my favorite happily ever after story, but I guess every girl dreams of a land where she’s a princess and is awakened with a kiss of true love; and that was my favorite of them all.
Today though, I feel more like the wicked queen, staring into the magic mirror; failing to pass the test of inward beauty. I definitely don’t feel as though I posses the character of the ‘fairest in the land’. I have realized that instead of playing the star of my own fairytale I have recently played the role more like the envious queen, and have offered poisonous words instead of love. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own worries and wants lately that I haven't been compassionate and attentive toward the needs of someone I love.
As I’ve gone through bad relationships, hurtful friendships, the loss of a loved one, and the every day stresses of life, I have let unforgiveness and bitterness poison my actions, thoughts, and the words I speak.  I heard a quote once and it has been on my mind all day… “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person”.
It’s been a bit of a dark day in fairytale land as I’ve looked deep inside my heart and realized the work that needs to be done. However, I know that healing and restoration is possible, because I believe in a God that desires to heal and restore his people. My own desire is that my actions and words would be encouraging and uplifting to those around me. There is so much power in the attitude we chose to have, especially as we go through difficult seasons of life, and the words we speak can carry either poison or hope in them. What I've come to realize is that often times my words, good or bad, return to effect me just as much as the one who received them. I don't think anyone ever wants to 'eat their words', especially when they are filled with poison.
I’d much rather offer the kind of love and care that is always associated with the leading lady in each fairytale. I am encouraged to know that despite my mistakes my God is able to take the worst I offer and make the circumstances into something beautiful.

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